बिना तेरे

बिना तेरे,

नहीं ढूंढता कोई तंग गलियों में,

खोयी हुई हूँ इन पहेलियों में,

पूछता नहीं कोई गीली पलकों के फ़साने,

आसूं भी ढूंढते हैं हाथों के सरहाने।

किस्से कहूँ, माँ डर लगता है,

दवा से नहीं दुआ में असर लगता है॥

mum

बिना तेरे,

यादों में भी वो बात कहाँ,

कि तन्हाई मिटा सकें,

खुशियों में वो बात कहाँ,

जो दिल को सहला सकें।

अक्सर सोचती हूँ उन लम्हों को,

जब संग तेरे ख्वाब सजाये थे,

कहाँ पता था दौड़ते दौड़ते,

अकेले ही रह जायेंगे॥

बिना तेरे,

मेरी शख्सियत अधूरी,

अधूरा मेरा आधार।

रहम कर ख़ुदा,

लौटा दे,

मेरी माँ का प्यार॥

Linking this to #blogchatter prompt ‘Without You’

Life Lessons from Tough Young Teachers

Being the eldest, pampered child in the household, I have always been a brat – living life on her own terms, screaming for attention and taking the ‘right to expression’ rather too seriously. Adulthood and marriage definitely sobered me down 😉 but motherhood has been the greatest teacher. It’s like Karma staring back at you, being kind enough to teach you the missed lessons:

 

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Love’s all about giving

All my ‘prenatal life’, my understanding of love was limited to caring and sharing. You give me the attention (and some gifts :-)) and I reciprocate. Being a mother taught me a lot about being selfless in love. I learnt to sacrifice – not only my sleep and the chocolates, but a part of me. I proudly forget to comb my tresses (not that it would make a huge difference anyways ;-)), but I wouldn’t forget the KinderJoy. Love is no longer subtle, it’s loud, expressive and at times intimidating (let’s not call it embarrassing ;-)) for the recipient.

My parents did their best

I was brought up by my maternal grandparents and had the best childhood ever. But, somewhere I always felt ignored by the parents. Today, being a working mom, I often ponder if my kiddo feels the same way, as most of my time and energy goes in juggling meetings and homework. It’s only now I realize what my parents did for me (be it by sharing me with my grandparents or sending me out for higher education) to contribute to a ‘happy me’.

Comparisons are cliché but important

I have always believed that comparisons are odious and happily promote the philosophy of ‘to each its own”. But now when kids are the favorite topic on the lunch table at work, I realize that comparing notes is important and how all of us benefit from those interactions. It is definitely ‘okay’ to learn & seek support from others, especially when you are in a nuclear family. I now proudly contribute a trick or two to help feed the little monsters 🙂

It’s okay to make your own mistakes

I still fondly remember the first night at the hospital. Not sure who was the kid then 😉 but I recall looking at the nurse (mostly apologetically) every time the kid yelled. Post motherhood I have realized that it’s okay to err and regret, but it’s equally important to learn from your mistakes. I wouldn’t want to feed the kiddo a banana if she’s down with severe cold 😉 and shall definitely not rush to the hospital at 3AM just ‘coz she sneezed twice 😉

Be gentle on yourself

Working moms always carry a bag full of to-dos and loads of guilt. I’ve had my share of breakdowns and after so many years have realized that I need to be gentle on myself. I cannot have it all and need to prioritize my hours. I need to be happy for my own sanity and that of the others :-). I now admire the red color on the lips, the orange paint on the nails, that pink blush on the cheeks ;-), but the golden heels definitely look better on the kiddo 🙂

High five,

Another sleep deprived mom!

Linking this post with @misra_amrita and @deepagandhi1 for #MondayMommyMoments.

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I ask myself, Why?

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I often ask myself

why you bother?

plagued, addled,

stuck between,

quit, try harder?


Brave it out

like cold weather,

ain’t no reason

for you to wither!


I often ask myself

why you expect?

await, yearn,

like neglected fields,

that grow just fern?


Embrace hope

& learn to accept

things meant to be,

care not to deflect!


I often ask myself

why you afraid?

to start anew,

another chance,

abrupt, unplanned?


Let love happen,

rekindle the spark

stars shine

amidst the dark!

Inspiration: #Blogchatter prompt: Why?

The Mommy from Mars

It won’t be an exaggeration if I say that my husband was made for parenthood. There are days when I want to give him a piece of my mind for whatever reason, but I can’t, as when I see him with the toddler, I turn all mushy.

While I was expecting the unexpected, with my emotions playing havoc, I often told him “You’d understand if you had to play Mommy for a day”. He’d just laugh it off, saying those dreaded words “It’ll be fine”. Well, it did turn out all fine (contrary to what I believed and felt), he was a constant support from the day the baby popped!

I remember the first night at the hospital – the nurse handed over the alien and asked ‘So, who’s staying back tonight?’ and with undeterred confidence he said “I am the father and I will”. I wanted to cry but held my composure as had enough of it during my long stay in the labor room.

From juggling diapers and conference calls, from attending hoots to untimely poops, he seemed to be a pro at it. Given all the female attention he had from my friends/relatives, I’m sure he had his own reasons to do what he did :-).

But he really surprised me with his maternal instincts, when he offered to take care of the 3 month old infant (for 10 days, before help arrived) while I had to go prove my existence at work. He took charge of the most difficult job in this world, and did manage to win an Oscar (well, I’m assuming it involved a little bit of acting skills too :-)). He was in total control of the infant’s feeding schedule, waste management and extra-curricular and before I realized he turned out to be The Mommy from Mars.

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The kiddo preferred him to me (mostly because his lullabies were better than mine ;-)) but surprisingly the ‘now’ toddler still clings to him ;-). While I am busy teaching manners, correcting behaviors and enforcing discipline, he is Mr. Fun. He doesn’t mind the make-up on his face, the paint on his nails, the color on this hair and the dolls on his lap. While I sit and watch them living their dreams, I see a bond – of love, of tied hearts and a common enemy 😉

Whatever it is, it’s extremely special. In any case, this is the best a 9 year old matrimony gets you and I am not complaining!

Love you two,

The Devil Mom

Linking this post with @misra_amrita and @deepagandhi1 for #MondayMommyMoments.

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That Day…

That Day,

I stepped out,

Merry, blasé,

In soaking rain,

Admiring the gaze,

Hopping through,

the usual lanes



They stood there

as ambush predators

with sadistic eyes,

of a tormentor

I was spotted

like a rare bird

Punished, mauled,

for staying away

from the herd



They mocked,

They abused,

They touched,

They groped

I cried for help,

struggling to lope

A piece of flesh

left without a hope



I felt the jolt,

It shattered my soul,

Not only the skin,

my dignity they stole

I fought with God,

for writing this dole

Still searching myself,

In part and whole



That Day,

I wish hadn’t come

I’ve lost a part of me

& the others still feel numb!