Being the eldest, pampered child in the household, I have always been a brat – living life on her own terms, screaming for attention and taking the ‘right to expression’ rather too seriously. Adulthood and marriage definitely sobered me down 😉 but motherhood has been the greatest teacher. It’s like Karma staring back at you, being kind enough to teach you the missed lessons:
Love’s all about giving
All my ‘prenatal life’, my understanding of love was limited to caring and sharing. You give me the attention (and some gifts :-)) and I reciprocate. Being a mother taught me a lot about being selfless in love. I learnt to sacrifice – not only my sleep and the chocolates, but a part of me. I proudly forget to comb my tresses (not that it would make a huge difference anyways ;-)), but I wouldn’t forget the KinderJoy. Love is no longer subtle, it’s loud, expressive and at times intimidating (let’s not call it embarrassing ;-)) for the recipient.
My parents did their best
I was brought up by my maternal grandparents and had the best childhood ever. But, somewhere I always felt ignored by the parents. Today, being a working mom, I often ponder if my kiddo feels the same way, as most of my time and energy goes in juggling meetings and homework. It’s only now I realize what my parents did for me (be it by sharing me with my grandparents or sending me out for higher education) to contribute to a ‘happy me’.
Comparisons are cliché but important
I have always believed that comparisons are odious and happily promote the philosophy of ‘to each its own”. But now when kids are the favorite topic on the lunch table at work, I realize that comparing notes is important and how all of us benefit from those interactions. It is definitely ‘okay’ to learn & seek support from others, especially when you are in a nuclear family. I now proudly contribute a trick or two to help feed the little monsters 🙂
It’s okay to make your own mistakes
I still fondly remember the first night at the hospital. Not sure who was the kid then 😉 but I recall looking at the nurse (mostly apologetically) every time the kid yelled. Post motherhood I have realized that it’s okay to err and regret, but it’s equally important to learn from your mistakes. I wouldn’t want to feed the kiddo a banana if she’s down with severe cold 😉 and shall definitely not rush to the hospital at 3AM just ‘coz she sneezed twice 😉
Be gentle on yourself
Working moms always carry a bag full of to-dos and loads of guilt. I’ve had my share of breakdowns and after so many years have realized that I need to be gentle on myself. I cannot have it all and need to prioritize my hours. I need to be happy for my own sanity and that of the others :-). I now admire the red color on the lips, the orange paint on the nails, that pink blush on the cheeks ;-), but the golden heels definitely look better on the kiddo 🙂
Another sleep deprived mom!